I have so many thoughts about all that lies ahead in the next 5-6 months and I don't know if I'll remember some of the ways I was feeling about them by the time its all over and routine has set in so I wanted to put it out there....
Chris has always wanted to be a pastor ever since I've known him.... I have never wanted to be a pastor's wife. That is not to offend the MANY pastors wives I know, it just never saw myself in that role.
A couple of weeks ago I attended a Via de Cristo weekend in Saginaw, MI. I didn't really want to go but it was really important to Chris that I go and we have friends that have been encouraging us to go for nearly 3 years. There is too much to go into about the weekend except that I came to a huge realization about my fears and anxieties about what our future holds. There are so many unknowns.... and for anyone that knows me knows that I don't deal well with unknowns! This weekend away taught me about trust in the Lords plan and that His timing is perfect.
I got to see that up close and personal this week. The last 2 weeks I have been working on updating my resume and sending to schools in St. Louis to get the job hunt started. I wanted to get my resume out there and then hoped to make some face-to-face connections with principals and directors during our visit. I spent a good amount of time mapping out the 3 schools we wanted to visit and when we would do that and the exact timing of the whole thing. I made my first phone call only to discover that schools are closed for a conference on the day of our "planned by me" visit!! I felt very derailed, not knowing if I was going to be able to do any meetings at all. It was frustrating to have spent so much time mapping it out in my head only to have it completely turned upside down. Later that same day Chris got a phone call that we wouldn't be guaranteed housing for the move in date that we had set. A month later, no problem... So now here I am freaking out about not having a job or a place to live!!! This was a rough day!
Fast forward 24 hours.... I sent out 2 more resume emails on Monday night and Tuesday afternoon. I heard back right away from both and both places wanted to make it work into my schedule and theirs to meet me while we were in town. A couple of back and forth emails and it was all set up, one on Thursday afternoon during a time when Chris didn't need me with him anyway and the other on Friday. That particular school didn't have students but teacher would be in the building PLUS they have their Preschool open house that day so I would definitely meet the director there! It was an answer to prayers (pleas) with God to just show me how all of this is supposed to work out!
And as far as housing goes, we were assured that they would help us get something figured out. They really don't like to see families separated for any amount of time and will try to work with us as much as they can. Plus we have come up with a few other possibilities of what to do there.
It was really amazing to see God's hand in all of this. The hardest part of me is to let it out of my hands (holding on with gripped-white knuckles!) and just give it over to Him. But He is certainly giving me every reason to do so. The outcome is always better when I let go and let God. That is my prayer as we embark on the big new adventure!!
(if you've made it this far....wow you are a good friend, this is mostly just my own musings about life as we are living it right now!!)